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12/29/20 Relief

Woke up today kinda tired. Thank God for my vitamins. Got a lot of support from my Fam, Sarmiento angels, Manila besties, ECQ barkada, guy bffs, hs barkada extended family and more. They know how much I went through this last month. I’m thankful for them. Weird thing though is that my weight dipped for some reason. They say this is normal. But anyway I’ll just record this. So yeah 12/29/20 no cravings. Not feeling anything but weight dipped.

I was asked last night how I felt if I was happy. To be honest I’m floating. Yes, that’s the term. I’m floating BUT, even if I’m a dog person and I don’t know anything about what’s gonna happen. God gave this. And seeing papas face yesterday, my in laws, my siblings - I’ll be able to compartmentalize. I can’t fully explain how I feel. But the silver lining is the happiness I can give my papa and in laws and that’s a sense of duty. Ever since I was young all I wanted to do is to do my best for my papa, so in a way this is a sense of duty and a sense of purpose. I just pray everyone will be safe and that my fear of when there’s life there’s death won’t get to me. This could be lucky too - she passed away so there’s life. I just need to relax.

part 2: I had a bulging tummy for the last few days. Today it became “normal” because of my release. Probably because I haven’t been eating well. Not sure really. I’m not craving anything lately which is probably why I’m losing weight, I hardly wanna eat. Except for Alugbati. 4-5 semanas now according to Achi doc. I wanna document this daily. Someone asked if I was just extremely “sad” which is why I attached a smiling pic in the last photo. Lol I’m just overwhelmed. Extremely overwhelmed

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